Well here we are, one year later, and Jikky and I are still going quite strong. I can't say it's been all roses and puppies, but we can definitely say we've put our relationship through the ringer!
When last I wrote, Jik and I were in the lovely (ahem) little hamlet of Bethel, Alaska. I was working as an air traffic controller. Jik was taking care of three of our five kids (the other two were still in Bangkok with Jik's mom).
In September of 2015, I had a bit of a "deal" at work. According to my coworkers, I put two planes too close together. Given the environment I'd come from before, I was comfortable with the distance between my planes, but I guess that's neither here nor there; in short, by my coworkers' perception, I screwed up. I was suspended from work pending an internal investigation. It came out that I had been stressed to the max because of the fallout from my first marriage--I had lost my house, my car, and almost all of my belongings. The stress of the divorce and dissolution of my old life had changed me. I had lost my confidence, and my work had suffered accordingly. Couple that with a rather toxic environment (and one in which I never fit), and it was a recipe for disaster for me. I digress. I went into counseling, and Jik and I started to guard our money resources carefully. Jik helped me to plan our finances and manage our household. We stretched the money out as long as we could, but eventually, we had to leave Bethel and relocate to California to stay with my family.
The move was hard on the kids, but Jikky took it in stride--even though she was sad to leave Bethel. If there were ever a good reason to end our relationship (from her perspective), it was this. My life had fallen apart: I had no home, no job, no car, and no prospects. I had hit near rock bottom. Through it all though, Jik buoyed me up; she helped me to regain my confidence, and loved me and our three kids (mine from my first marriage) with reckless abandon. Thanks to my father, with whom I'd had a rocky relationship for much of my adult life, we at least had a place to stay. Thanks to my mother, we had a car to use.
We got our daughters enrolled in school at the local elementary (which had improved markedly since my childhood), our teenager enrolled in online school, and daddy (that'd be me) on the job hunt.
Since I'd received a letter from the FAA indicating that I could no longer attain a fight physical based upon the perception of fraud (um...I hadn't talked to my physician about my anxiety and depression when I renewed my flight physical), I could no longer perform ATC services. This meant I had to go back into IT -- a job field I'd had mixed success in several years prior (in addition to being the field in which I hold both B.S. and M.S. degrees). I knew it would be a tough sell, but Jikky was in my corner from the outset. She encouraged me, helped me to prepare for interviews, and reassured me after my numerous interview failures. "You'll get it when it's the right job, hon." she'd say, "If you didn't get the job, it was probably not a good fit anyway."
In January of this year, my divorce from my first wife was finally completed. I had primary physical custody and decision-making authority of our three kids, and my first wife was now, thankfully, my ex-wife. We could finally make official the relationship that we'd lived for most of the last year. We began to make plans to wed in February, so that we could adjust her status and begin to petition for our boys to come home too.
Then disaster struck. Jikky found out that her ex-husband had been coaching her sons to go to court and testify that they wanted to live with him and his bimbo girlfriend instead of with us and their siblings. He had been preparing to go to court and sue Jik for full custody of the boys while she was in the USA with me. I immediately knew this meant she'd be leaving before we could adjust status. We talked about it, but ultimately we decided she needed to go back. It ended up being good anyway, since Jik had not seen her sons in six months; she needed to hug them, kiss them, and smell their scents. We did, however, accelerate our wedding plans. On 6 February of this year, the most beautiful woman I've ever known said "yes" to me in front of a minister, in the pretty little park off of the highway in Hercules, California, and made me the happiest man in the world again.
When last I wrote, Jik and I were in the lovely (ahem) little hamlet of Bethel, Alaska. I was working as an air traffic controller. Jik was taking care of three of our five kids (the other two were still in Bangkok with Jik's mom).
In September of 2015, I had a bit of a "deal" at work. According to my coworkers, I put two planes too close together. Given the environment I'd come from before, I was comfortable with the distance between my planes, but I guess that's neither here nor there; in short, by my coworkers' perception, I screwed up. I was suspended from work pending an internal investigation. It came out that I had been stressed to the max because of the fallout from my first marriage--I had lost my house, my car, and almost all of my belongings. The stress of the divorce and dissolution of my old life had changed me. I had lost my confidence, and my work had suffered accordingly. Couple that with a rather toxic environment (and one in which I never fit), and it was a recipe for disaster for me. I digress. I went into counseling, and Jik and I started to guard our money resources carefully. Jik helped me to plan our finances and manage our household. We stretched the money out as long as we could, but eventually, we had to leave Bethel and relocate to California to stay with my family.
The move was hard on the kids, but Jikky took it in stride--even though she was sad to leave Bethel. If there were ever a good reason to end our relationship (from her perspective), it was this. My life had fallen apart: I had no home, no job, no car, and no prospects. I had hit near rock bottom. Through it all though, Jik buoyed me up; she helped me to regain my confidence, and loved me and our three kids (mine from my first marriage) with reckless abandon. Thanks to my father, with whom I'd had a rocky relationship for much of my adult life, we at least had a place to stay. Thanks to my mother, we had a car to use.
We got our daughters enrolled in school at the local elementary (which had improved markedly since my childhood), our teenager enrolled in online school, and daddy (that'd be me) on the job hunt.
Since I'd received a letter from the FAA indicating that I could no longer attain a fight physical based upon the perception of fraud (um...I hadn't talked to my physician about my anxiety and depression when I renewed my flight physical), I could no longer perform ATC services. This meant I had to go back into IT -- a job field I'd had mixed success in several years prior (in addition to being the field in which I hold both B.S. and M.S. degrees). I knew it would be a tough sell, but Jikky was in my corner from the outset. She encouraged me, helped me to prepare for interviews, and reassured me after my numerous interview failures. "You'll get it when it's the right job, hon." she'd say, "If you didn't get the job, it was probably not a good fit anyway."
In January of this year, my divorce from my first wife was finally completed. I had primary physical custody and decision-making authority of our three kids, and my first wife was now, thankfully, my ex-wife. We could finally make official the relationship that we'd lived for most of the last year. We began to make plans to wed in February, so that we could adjust her status and begin to petition for our boys to come home too.
Then disaster struck. Jikky found out that her ex-husband had been coaching her sons to go to court and testify that they wanted to live with him and his bimbo girlfriend instead of with us and their siblings. He had been preparing to go to court and sue Jik for full custody of the boys while she was in the USA with me. I immediately knew this meant she'd be leaving before we could adjust status. We talked about it, but ultimately we decided she needed to go back. It ended up being good anyway, since Jik had not seen her sons in six months; she needed to hug them, kiss them, and smell their scents. We did, however, accelerate our wedding plans. On 6 February of this year, the most beautiful woman I've ever known said "yes" to me in front of a minister, in the pretty little park off of the highway in Hercules, California, and made me the happiest man in the world again.
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